06.03.08

well it isn't the first time. and what u all said aint untrue. so what have i got to say? ya thanks ya.

i just feel that i got the rights to know what exactly they said to you all, don't i? because whatever u say u never regurgitate exactly what they told u. what i got was just ur inference, cross-referencing and stuff which obviously either corroborates or doesn't corroborate. which in either case proves something wrong of me. well i just want to know what they say whether they got any parts of what i meant wrong or anything because this i can swear i've never given split opinions. yes, sometimes i may seem like helping different ppl at different times but my own opinions never change. all i'm trying to do is show what the other side is trying to say.

and suddenly i realised of the people i've trusted the most and who have probably lots of ba3 bing3 on my hands too are saying some things about me that i obviously don't know exactly what. wow no i mean WOW. and somehow i feel the person probably don't really dare face me or feel awkward for some unknown reasons when i don't feel awkward or guilty or anything. well...THAT shows something. you cant even converse with me normally, dont dare look into my eyes. lol how ironic. i thought u're supposedly the right side and i'm on the wrong side?

and hm i can actually feel that someone probably dunno how i'll face it thus dont really want see me again. well. haha :D hahahahhaaha........

ohh but wait. i really really thank HIM lots for telling me in my face that i should control my temper. no, not my so-called daddy. thanks alot. at least u aint that fake ba? i hope. its ppl like that who i actually feel fine with being close friends ba. cos after all some ppl whom i've told things to erm...say some things i dunno what la that i also cant teng2 qing1 or anything about. fine then.

u know...maybe u all should recall too.
REMEMBER? i was the one who always sat aside talking on the phone then crying. i was the one who didn't really want to worry u all didn't want to burden u all, make u all unhappy with my stuff. i was the one who didn't really feel comfortable with telling u all my stuff in the first place. u wanted to know cos u think u are my friend. cos u think u can solve things for me, can give advice, can be my support. well.... i've always been one who gets irritated over unsolved problems. who hates running from problems. and i take them face-on. when i do that i know i may complicate things many of the times. but sorry i hate running from my problems more then getting into a quarrel with my friend. i aint like him, aint like them who loves to run from problems. ya maybe u dun approve of my way of doing things but really sorry la~ i harp on problems unsolved. but at the same time i hate problems not being solved. erm who likes to harp on problems?

yes i've erred and i've always erred. its not the first neither will it be the last. i will bear no grudges despite many questions still suspended in my head but they probably bear no weight anymore. to those who can deal with this maturedly we can still be friends if u want to. for those who cant, well erm too bad ya. i aint gonna plead u back too. :)

"don't expect respect to come with experience or age. if u want it, earn it." -anonymous

thanks:
- vivien, eeseng, sinhou, glennda
~一路上有你，我什么都不怕了~

i've walked, i've fallen. i've run, i've fallen. but i've picked myself up. so one day u'll see me fly. - :)
i'll remember: "its alright to cry. but remember to pick urself up after that." -ak'07

wished upon a spark at 06.03.08 08:28:15
0 fairytales came true